just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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