Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
if only i could text you this smell
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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