In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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