There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize