Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
