Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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