found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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