what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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