Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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