I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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