I heard we made out
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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