I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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