In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
