is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
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In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
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You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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