You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
