Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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