Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
