I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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