I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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