normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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