is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
