He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
