one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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