why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
