Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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