why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
