I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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