Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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