We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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