That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
