I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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