i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
