your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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