If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
