Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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