I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize