y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
COCAINE IS GR8
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