i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
