Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.

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(705): View more from Ontario

and you said cock pushups were impossible

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(410): View more from Maryland

This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day

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