i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.