I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
