i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.