I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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