Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

I like my sex mixed with concussions.

Fav 6 1387 927
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.

Fav 39 1827 5205
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

Fav 11 819 2329
share tweet
(501): View more from Arkansas

My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually

Fav 19 8329 988
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

Fav 23 1637 5837
share tweet
(774): View more from Massachusetts

My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.

Fav 20 5144 1246
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(407): View more from Florida

More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

Fav 4 773 1203
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.

Fav 10 830 586
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(240): View more from Maryland

If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.

Fav 2 355 573
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT