Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
