The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize