its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
