If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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