Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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