I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Help. Why am I so naked?
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