im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
