I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize