There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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