Grow some girl-balls and come out already
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
