I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just made my gag reflex go away.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
