Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
