I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
