She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
