so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
