i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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