You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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