I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize